Oct 162018
It’s OK not to be OK

Generally, day-to-day I’m fine, I wake up, get ready, start work, finish work, make tea, eat tea, do the bed time routine then sleep. My mood is stable, if something makes me laugh I laugh, if I’m tired I’m tired and deal with it. I’m generally  a “normal” person (yeah right, like that even exists)

But then out of the blue, a day like today hits me. I feel irritable, pessimistic and low and dull. Everyone and everything annoys me, including myself. The kids on the school run are just that bit more annoying, the parents are just that bit more rude, the wind is just that bit more windy, the freaking birds are just that bit more tweety, you get my point!

I have today off work ,and I feel like this! A day all to myself, I could be doing so much, enjoying the time, peace and quiet, instead I feel like this. I think about how productive my day was yesterday, going for a run, running errands, shopping for AND wrapping Kayden’s birthday presents which isn’t even for one whole month yet. I feel angry that today can’t be the same.

I look at the state of the kitchen and feel like a slob, I could be cleaning the house, sorting out the clothes, doing paperwork. Instead i’m sat with a very large coffee and eating Halloween chocolates (sorry kids) and writing about how sorry I’m feeling for myself. I could easily go back to bed and hope to wake up in a better mood. Unfortunately I know that it can turn in to a viscous cycle and does me no good whatsoever from when I had depression after Kayden.

I woke up this morning with all good intentions, but as the morning went on my plans seemed unreachable. I was snappy with Kayden before school, snappy at Karl before work, why? I have no idea. Does there always need to be a reason?

But its OK isn’t it? Its OK for me not to be OK today.

Everyone has bad days, and we understand that, but when is us having the bad day we beat ourselves up.

These feelings need to be accepted rather than fought, as most of the time, its a loosing battle.

So Here I am feeling slightly better but slightly fatter after consuming 8 chocolate ghosts and getting my thoughts out.

I’m going to take it easy on myself today. If  the things I had planned don’t get done then so what? I know fresh air helps me so my one goal for today it to go for a walk.

Note to self:

Accept yourself

Forgive yourself

Care for yourself

Love yourself

Be yourself

Ps. If your bad days are frequent or you feel suicidal then please seek professional advice and talk to family and friends. Dont ever feel alone or ashamed.

x


Reader Comments

  1. It’s definitely OK to have these days where we feel really low and would just rather eat the food we love and do nothing. We shouldn’t feel guilty about having days like this, I am the exact same, I’ll have a day where I feel awful and there’s so much that I could be doing but I just don’t really feel like doing any of it! We need to look after ourselves, definitely treat ourselves from time to time, we deserve it!

    Chloe x
    http://www.chloechats.com

  2. Oh, this is such an honest and emotional post. You are so right, we all get bad days and we definitely shouldn’t beat ourselves up about it. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you 😘

  3. This is a great post, its brilliant that you’ve put this out there to share with people how you are feeling, but if you are getting these feelings regularly, it’s important you also talk to someone who can help you put in place mechanisms for dealing with it. Well done to have shared.

    https://doolittledays.co.uk/

  4. We all have days like this and it’s ok not to be ok although I agree with the other comments that if these days come frequently then it may be worth seeking out extra support. Being gentle with yourself is important though – sometimes all you can do is just ride these moments and let them come.

  5. I have days like this, they were much more frequent after having both my kids & I was diagnosed with PND. It’s so important to spread awareness as it’s such a horrible & lonely condition x

  6. it’s more than OK to have a day like this – and your wise words at the end are a good daily focus.
    I’ve been v unwell with PTSD and anxiety in the past (therapy was vital) and an hour outside every day makes a such a difference to me.
    I hope things are on a more even keel for you today.
    take care
    Love Bec

  7. I have days like this too. I have learned that no matter where you are on the road to healing, these days are going to happen. I take those days and I let myself feel whatever I feel. I also like to go for walks when I have these bad days because they really do help. Thanks for sharing this!

  8. I totally agree that sometimes it’s ok to not be ok! I think its how our bodies tell us to slow down, rest and just slob about. A slob day is what we all need every now and then to recuperate! TV, Film, cake, chocolate, spoon and a tub of Ben and Jerrys I say, haha!

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